Malik grew up in with parents faithful to two different religions - a Christian mother and a Muslim father - and felt conflicted by this dual identity. "I recall a time my mother made my brother and I become ushers at a church", he states, "and my father telling us that only 144,000 people will make it into heaven. I recall times I had vivid dreams about the afterlife and God, and I recall the times when I believed Lucifer had me". But, in later life, he began to harness the depth, utility, and beauty of his connection to both teachings. In speaking to the artist, he went on to say, "Farrakhan teachings helped me understand my identity as a black man while my first baptism gave me a sense of rebirth." Malik believes that we each, at some point, experience a form of crucifixion, be it because of the decisions we make, the people we confess our truths to, or the views of societies in which we are bound. This memoir acts as a departure of freedom in the form of catharsis, as his rebirth, having waded through the mud of a past of troubles, turmoil, success, and love, to see oneself as a complete, complex, and unbound being. By sharing himself and his vulnerabilities with such openness, Malik hopes for this work to allow him to finally let go of his past, and to inspire others to find solace in creative catharsis too.
"If I Died 2NITE" is a written testimony to my foundational belief that everybody can be great, no matter how fearful they are, where they came from, or where they think they're going. This book is to inspire others to find freedom in speaking their truths. This book is my method of setting myself free. This book is dedicated to my late cousin Trey and my late friend for life, Jarvis Moss."
